Ask Kyle
by KyleyB
Summary: Welcome to Kyle's new blog. Feel free to ask questions if you want to. R&R please. :)
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: I really love stories where you can ask questions, so I decided to write one myself. So, if you have any questions, just PM me, and I'll answer them as soon as possible. I can only answer them sent to me by PM. I'll try to update every day, or at least every other day, depending on the questions I get. Read and review. I don't own South Park. If I did, it surely wouldn't be very successful…_

Hey everyone. Welcome to my new blog!

My name's Kyle, and I'm starting to write a blog, too, like all of my friends do. Well, at least almost all of my friends. Everyone except Butters, who isn't allowed to use the computer right now, because he messed up the alphabetical order of the food like it was arranged in their kitchen, or something like that. Actually I shouldn't do it, either, because my mom forbade me to use the internet for three months yesterday. She caught Cartman and me while he was trying to find new friends for me on _ChatRoulette_ again. Unfortunately, when she came in, we were connected to a guy jerking off, which made her think we watched porn. I tried to explain her that we didn't look at that cock on purpose, and, like Cartman always says, that it just "happens sometimes", but she wouldn't believe me. She even took my laptop away from me! This teaches me not to let the fatass come to my house ever again. Mom doesn't like him anyway, because he called her a big fat stupid bitch, and even sang a song about it. Now I can't play _FarmVille_ for the next few months, just because of his stupid idea of using _ChatRoulette_ on my computer. I bet my animals and veggies will be dead when I'll play again!

The only reason I can surf the web now is that she has gone protesting about the news that another Terrance and Phillip movie is gonna come to the cinemas in August. I'm on her computer, though, and I got to this site by accident, actually. I wanted to go to Facebook, but for some reason I ended up on this website. I suppose my mom is writing a blog, too, then, because this site shows up very often in the web history. I bet she's writing about some really boring stuff, like cooking, or the weather, or something like that. I haven't found it yet, so if anyone knows what she calls her blog, please tell me. Anyway, please don't talk to her about me using the internet, or she's gonna ground me, like, forever. Well, I could blame Ike for doing it, but if he denies it, she'll believe him rather than me, like she always does.

Okay, whatever, if you got any questions, just write them to me, and I'll answer them in one of my next entries.

Thanks for visiting my blog.

See you.

-KB-


	2. Chapter 2: JigokuTsuki-TsukI-chan

Hey again.

So I got the first question from JigokuTsuki-TsukI-chan. She asks:  
Hi Kyle I'm a big fan of you and please don't get mad of what I want to ask you but: If you were gay with which one of the guys you would like to be? Just curiosity

Salutations form Mexico :)

Well, first of all, I am not gay, whatever Cartman says, I know he calls me a fag all the time.  
But if I was I'd probably be with Stan, he's the most, ehh, let's say, normal of the guys.

Or maybe with Kenny, he's okay, too, but he's too much of a pervert, in my opinion. I don't even wanna think about what he'd do if he was my boyfriend...

Probably I wouldn't be with Butters, because he's kind of childish and girly, and gets grounded all the time. And he also sucked Cartman's dick, and I wouldn't like to kiss those lips.

I'd definitely NOT go out with Cartman, not even if he was the only living person in the whole world besides me! I mean, I hate him, and he's constantly making fun of me for being Jewish. All he wants is to degrade me, or make me embarrass myself, like the time he wanted me to suck his balls. Probably he'd have uploaded the video to Eavesdropper or some other internet platform, where everyone could have watched it.  
Okay, I can't even think about that without getting sick.

So, yeah, I'd probably go with Stan. He's my super-best friend after all.

I gotta go now, my dad just got home from work, and he shouldn't see me using mom's computer. He probably thinks I'm in bed already…

Good night, and keep asking questions.

-KB-


	3. Chapter 3: xXPierceTheVeil'sAngelXx

Hey guys.

First of all, thanks to everyone who has sent me a question so far.

The next one comes from xXPierceTheVeil'sAngelXx. She (I guess you're a girl. If you're not, I'm very sorry.) wrote:

Hiiii Kyle!

So, if you wanted to do one thing in your life that you've always wanted to do, what would it be?

P.S: your mom scares me

Well, the thing I always wanted to do is to join the All-State basketball team, but I guess that won't ever be possible. I've already been there for a some time, but only while I was tall and black. I bet they wouldn't take me anymore now. Maybe I have to see that Cartman was right when he said that Jews couldn't play basketball... Stan always tells me it's not that kind of a big deal that I can't join the All-State team, and that I'm still the best player in our school, but I still wish I was able to do that when I grow up. It has always been my dream job and I hope they'll take me in some years, although I'm not tall and black.

My mom's not really scary, I think. She's just a little over-protective sometimes. Okay, I take the _sometimes_ back. She _always_ is over-protective. A little too much, actually. I mean, she started a war against Canada just because of the Terrance and Phillip movie, and is yet again protesting because there's gonna be another one this year. Hopefully it won't end up like last time! Maybe she _can_ be a little scary sometimes…

I just hope she'll never ever discover my blog, or if she does that she won't read this question. If she does, I'll be grounded, like, forever, and I'll probably never get my laptop back…

Hope that answers your questions. Keep asking, guys.

See you.

-KB-


	4. Chapter 4: Supergrower508

Hey.

Thanks for still reading/asking.

I didn't think I'd get more than one question, actually.

Okay, whatever, next one is from Supergrower508:

If you could get back at Cartman in any way, what would it be?

I'm really not that kind of a badass Cartman is, but I think beating the shit outta him would serve him right. I'd sneak into his room at night when he's asleep and knock him out. Then I'd take him to sone abandoned house or something, to make him suffer, and leave him to die!

Okay, maybe the last thing would be a little TOO extreme, even for an asshole like him…

Well, but he tried to kill me several times already for some stupid reasons. I'm still not _that_ evil. Maybe beating him up after school, and then sending him far, far away would be enough. Maybe I could try sending him to the moon... Oh no, not good, there he can live with Willzyx. Where else could I send him? Perhaps to the North Pole. There he couldn't bother anyone anymore…except Santa… No, the South Pole would be better, or maybe to the rainforest, where no one would ever find him…?

I gotta think about that one a little more. Thanks for asking this awesome question, Supergrower!

But the thing I gotta consider first is, what to do about Kenny because of his stupid game... Or how to survive Tuesday… But that's a different story right now. Tell you later, maybe.

-KB-


	5. Chapter 5: GreenDayLuverXD

_A/N: The 'game'_ _mentioned in this chapter is an actual one my friend sent to me, and I really chose 7. the thing with Kenny is just because we gave ourselves nicknames from South Park. I'm Kyle, and she's Kenny. Honestly, she really is a little (or even very) pervy…_

* * *

Hey again.

So the next question comes from GreenDayLuverXD. He/she (she I guess) asks: Hi Kyle. I got some questions for you:

1. Do you secretly love Cartman?

2. What about Rebecca? Do you still love her?

3. What did you mean with 'Kenny's stupid game' in your last entry?

PS: your mom IS creepy.

1. No, I don't like him at all! He's an evil, racist, sadist asshole who doesn't like anyone or anything besides himself. Why should I like him? Have I ever said that shit? If yes, was I high or what? I'd never love this fatass! I mean, it's obvious that he hates me, and I hate him as well!

2. I haven't heard of Rebecca for quite a long time, but the last time I saw her she was still dressing like a whore. So no, I don't love her anymore. She kissed nearly all the boys in my class after kissing me, and I think that was when I stopped loving her. I mean, would you like a boyfriend (or girlfriend, in case you're a boy) who has kissed every girl (or boy) in your class? Don't think so.

3. Well, Kenny invented such a game on Facebook. It goes like this: say a number between 1 and 18. Then you get a list of stuff you gotta do when you said any number. Here it is. Guess what number I fucking chose!

_1. Call me and tell me you love me. _

_2. Buy me ice cream. _

_3. Do me a favor. _

_4. Tell me one of your secrets. _

_5. Tell me who you're crushing on. _

_6. Send me the 16th photo from your cell. _

_7. Be my slave for a day. _

_8. Change your Whatsapp/Facebook status to 'I love ... (my name). _

_9. Send me a photo from you. _

_10. Tell me sonething you always wanted to say, but never could. _

_11. Don't talk to me for a day. _

_12. Put my name as your Facebook/Whatsapp status. _

_13. Shout out my name very loudly. _

_14. Put '...(my name) is so cool' as your Whatsapp/Facebook status. _

_15. Tell me what you think of me in six sentences. _

_16. How would you change me if you could?_

_17. Tell me the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you. _

_18. Tell me something you have never told anyone. _

Whoever guessed 7 was right…

Why do I always have to be unlucky?! That means I gotta be Kenny's slave all day tomorrow. At least during school, which is about eight hours! Or even longer...we're having a fucking field trip, too. The problem is that some really strict teacher comes with us! I bet Kenny makes me embarrass myself in front of him, like, telling the teacher I loved him, or worse… Kenny can be a little pervy sometimes. Okay, I admit it, he always is. But, let's be optimistic, it'd be worse if I had to be Cartman's slave. I think I already know what he'd make me do; force me to suck his balls... I don't even wanna think about what Kenny will make me do. He's more pervy than Cartman... Wish me luck to survive this, guys...

By the way, if any of you wanna try the game with their friends, feel free to copy it out of my story. I bet everyone will be luckier than me, and not choose 7...

And stop saying this kind of things about my mom! She's okay. If you wanna rip on someone's mother, try Cartman's. She's the number one-slut in South Park. I guess she has actually slept with every single man in town. And she raised a child like Cartman, it's her fault that he's such a fat dumbass. So it would make much more sense if you made fun of her, she's worse than mine...

Whatever, I got a question for you, GreenDayLuverXD. Where the fuck did you get the idea that I'm in love with Cartman?! Don't you ever dare to say such a thing again! I thing you just fucking ruined my day.

-KB-


End file.
